I am the most antisocial, unmotivated, procrastinating, binge-eating, useless human.
Thanks to counselling, my partner and tumblr normalising these things for me I’m now less ashamed and secretive about these parts of my personality and life.
But I am a disappointment and a let-down to almost all of my friends. I guess most normal people like to see their friends every week? It doesn’t sound unreasonable, but if I have 5 friends or friendship groups, plus roller derby twice a week (and if I want to improve I should devote more time to it) - that’s a whole week of evenings gone, before I even see Antoine, study, exercise, do housework or speak to my family. And most weeks I only have 3 or 4 evenings off, not 7. And most days when I finish work I barely have enough energy to make it home for my nap.
I struggle to meet up with one friend a week.
Seriously where do people find the time and energy to socialise? These people who go out partying every weekend, do they have maids who do the housework for them? Who does their grocery shopping? And do they not know about the internet?
Why would anyone go out to a club when they could be at home on the internet? I’ll never know..
And because I don’t go out and do interesting things, I never have anything interesting to say.
Friend: I haven’t seen you in ages! What have you been up to?
Me: Get up, work, home, nap, eat, internet, sleep.
Friend: Haha yeah but what did you do on your day off?
Me: Get up, college, home, nap, eat, internet, sleep.
Friend: Come on, I mean your other day off, when you’re not at college.
Me: Get up late, housework, nap, eat, internet, sleep. With extra procrastination and internet.
Most of the time when I make plans to meet someone, I secretly hope they’ll cancel. I want to see my friends, but I just really don’t like going out. I am a sociophobic hermit and I can’t wait to have a bigger flat so I can just invite people over, instead of going out.